Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Journey Through Bohemia's Absurdities
Every playthrough of Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is a unique comedic masterpiece, blending brutal medieval realism with unpredictable, side-splitting scenarios. This article highlights some of the most absurd side quests encountered during my Bohemian escapades – no main storyline spoilers here, just pure, unadulterated quirky fun.
Table of Contents:
- Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
- Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
- Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
- Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
- Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
- Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
Želejov, a charming town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? A lack of funds, instruments, and any semblance of artistic direction.
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Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly ridiculous tasks to aid their cause. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for these musically-challenged individuals. Their reward for Henry's efforts? A soul-crushingly boring song celebrating his mundane achievements. The hilarity is palpable.
Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
Those aforementioned lute strings? Crafted by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who, after a wolf encounter, found himself perched precariously in a tree. The intended quest involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. But what happens when you deliver him directly to the tavern, as I did?
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The ensuing chaos, carrying the disgruntled Vojtěch through swamps and forests, culminates in his furious rejection of my "assistance." Our later encounter was equally memorable, with a grudging offer of a scenic view as compensation for my "help."
Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
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The Polovtsians, notorious villains responsible for devastating Henry's hometown, were encountered in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated as I found myself matchmaking one Polovtsian with a gypsy woman, and later, engaging in a drunken sing-along. The unexpected highlight? A philosophical discussion with a talking dog, leading to a near-fatal lake-swimming dare.
Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
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After mastering stealth, a single botched heist transformed me into Bohemia's most wanted. The culprit? Not the theft itself, but the overlooked details – flashy accessories and lingering smells – that gave me away. The game's attention to detail is astonishing.
Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
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Stealing a horse and attempting to sell it to the sleeping gypsy horse trader, Mikolaj, resulted in a hilarious chase scene and a lengthy wait for Mikolaj to finish his breakfast. Even minor escapades turn into epic misadventures.
Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
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These anecdotes only hint at the game's unique charm. Every decision, however insignificant, has consequences, creating a truly unforgettable and hilarious open-world RPG experience. Bohemia awaits!
